 Score: 92+/100 (9.2+ out of 10)
Are you passionate about saving and protecting animals? Does thwarting animal traffickers and poachers sound exciting to you? Are you up for some monkey shenanigans? Well, then, Cans of Cola Just Don't Cry may be the book for you! Cans of Cola Just Don't Cry is a cozy mystery and crime fiction novel by Carolyn Summer Quinn. Quinn is a previous Outstanding Creator Awards winner for her WWII-era book, Until the Stars Align. Cans of Cola Just Don't Cry follows 63-year-old Nola Carmody, a retired editor living in South Haven Key, Florida who dreams of writing and publishing her first book involving a bank robbery based on a traumatic event from her teenage years. However, like many authors and those who've been through trauma, she finds herself writer's blocked and stuck—apprehensive and unable to move forward with the story. It's not that she lacks the inspiration or even the talent; rather, she's struck by a combination of imposter syndrome, self-doubt, lingering fear from the traumatic event, and distractions like her handsome neighborhood handyman/crush, Shamus Wilder. As you might expect, Shamus becomes a major supporting character and a kind of love-interest. Anyway, if all that weren't enough, Nola's life takes a surprising turn when she hears the squeaking and cries of a little animal trapped in a cola crate on her dock: a baby chimpanzee! She names the baby chimp “Lollapalooza” which she tells us means “someone spectacular.” If you aren't oohing and awing by now, you have no pulse. This book is incredibly charming with the cuteness and adorableness of Lollapalooza and the monkey shenanigans. Lolla wears a diaper, drinks from a bottle, cries, and tries to grab/hold your hands and fingers like a human baby or child would! The author does an excellent job at putting forth Lolla's cuteness through writing. He is described as a “scared little baby” and having “chocolate eyes.” All of these descriptions evoke strong feelings of protectiveness, warmth, and comfort in the reader. He's so cute that even some of the villains gain a soft spot for him and wonder if they can feed him bananas and such. Lollapalooza has an infectious charm on the characters and on the readers. Speaking of villains, this book does center around the criminal trafficking of rare, unique, and endangered animals like chimpanzees. Like many great things, this is inspired by real events. The author says that this story is based on a documentary about the illegal trafficking and poaching of bonobos, all the way down to how the young bonobos are kidnapped and transferred to the highest bidder while their parents are brutally and needlessly killed off. Thankfully, this book maintains a mostly-light tone while briefly touching on darker things like this in a tactful way. The villains of this book include people like Esposito Krumpler, a wealthy and corrupt businessman akin to a crime lord who masterminds the smuggling operation that involves the chimp. He is supported by his henchmen, Bubba and Cletus, who mostly act like the two henchmen from 101 Dalmatians: bumbling idiots who may be way above their heads. They provide some comedic relief despite their villainous roles. Cletus is somewhat humanized in that he lives with a very annoying and badly tempered girlfriend named Tiffy Taplinger, an exotic dancer from Miami, who discovers he has brought a chimpanzee into their trailer, raising hell about it. It is actually quite humorous despite this bordering on domestic abuse and a toxic relationship. You'd think that if anyone deserved it, it would be Cletus. However, it also points out the motivation behind these criminals doing these terrible acts: poverty, desperation, and a need to move up in society to appease highfalutin people like Tiffy and Esposito Krumpler. They're never so sympathetic that we root for them or want to see them succeed, but we still understand them and what drives them, which makes them better characters. There's another set of characters speckled in here who seem somewhat superfluous and unnecessary, but still add some flare from time to time. For example, there's Doc MacHale, the attractive local veterinarian who helps to look after and care for Lolla. His son, Liam, is twelve-years-old. One of the key scenes in the book involves Liam being tied up when the crooks come to recapture Lolla. Now, this would be tense and interesting if it weren't run into the ground. The characters talk about this event CONSTANTLY. They can't shut up about it, as if it's the only thing of note that has happened to them. The reader doesn't need to be constantly reminded about information they already know. It becomes annoying and tiresome after a while when the narrative keeps trying to remind us that the bad guys did a bad thing to a good guy. Ok, we get it. We got it the first time. There's also Violet Culpepper, the girl who has a crush on Liam—creating some kind of romantic subplot involving the two which we're assuming is supposed to cute and funny (because Liam isn't having any of it). However, it did come across as more unnecessary fluff. All in all, though, this is a really fun, enjoyable, and entertaining read, especially for all the animal lovers out there. Check it out on Amazon!
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 Score: 94+/100 (9.4+ out of 10)
Becoming Fearless is an empowering, inspiring, and thought-provoking self-help & motivational book by Dr. Benjamin Ritter! It is an excellent read for those interested in personal & professional development, full of positive principles, affirmations, mottos, mantras, and practical advice. In other words, this book is full of words to live by! Here are a few of our favorite/key takeaways: * “The greatest lie we tell ourselves is that avoiding fear keeps us safe when it actually limits our potential.” This passage sums up the core essence of this book: not letting fear control you, limit you, and keep you from reaching your full potential as a professional and a human being. * “When you aim 10 times higher, you push yourself beyond your limits and open doors to new possibilities you never thought you could reach.” This is an alternate, enhanced version of the more popular saying “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars” by Norman Vincent Peale, which is also mentioned in the same section. Basically, this is about setting your expectations higher and not limiting yourself with things like fear and apprehension. * Shift from a victim mindset to a creator mindset This was our favorite part of the whole book! In this particular section, Ritter talks about how playing the victim or adopting a victim mindset hold you back. It's true! It's along the lines of what we often say in our reviews when authors complain excessively about being a certain race or having a certain living situation. What are you going to do about it? A victim mindset is also a defeatist mindset. It doesn't accomplish anything positive, it just keeps you down and holds you back. Instead, adopt a creator mindset! Creators find solutions to problems and ways to improve their situations, even if those situations seem bad initially. They take responsibility for what they can control and make the best of it. * "If you look back at what you cared about 10 years ago, you'll probably laugh at how little it matters today." Priorities change. What you cared about 10 years ago is likely not going to be a priority for you now. This is from one of the most thought-provoking and eye-opening parts of the book, and it really got our noggins working! It's true! Anyone who has gotten married and/or had kids know that your significant other and/or kids naturally begin to supersede a lot of your old priorities like diet, exercise, showering, shaving, watching contact sports, and working overtime. So, consider the bigger, long-term picture. * "Stop when you're 75% full. The remaining 25% is for comfort, reflection, and readiness for what comes next." This is a variation of the more popular “80/20 rule” in which you commit 80% of your effort toward work and 20% into enjoying and relaxing. Notably, Ritter puts an even higher priority on enjoying and relaxing life than other advocates of the 80/20 rule do, even giving an extra 5%. In later sections, he even talks about working less and delegating responsibilities to people even if they do worse than you at the tasks. Don't burn the candle at both ends. Your mental health and well-being is important too. * Be open to feedback and ask for it to improve yourself. Interestingly, later sections concentrate on ignoring critics, which made us wonder, What about constructive criticism and feedback? The author seems to advocate for filtering our negativity and the opinions and criticisms of people who make us feel worse and hold us back. This leads to the next point... * Cut out the toxic people and things in your life. If something makes you feel uncomfortable or triggers fear, ask yourself why. Curate an environment that builds you up instead of drags you down. * Create new beliefs, even temporary ones that get you from situation to situation and keep you headed toward your goals. This reminded us of fitness and dieting advice like: - I believe that I don't eat junk food - I believe that I exercise 3 days a week These could also be things like: - I believe that I am good enough - I believe that I can do it * Every issue presents an opportunity for growth, development, and learning * Fear is like information. It is a response to information. You can use it positively, but don't let it hold you back and control you. Use it like information and take control of it. * Before you give up on a problem, acknowledge it and brainstorm 5-10 solutions * Treat everyone like it's their birthday This was an interesting bit of advice! It resonated with us. We do tend to treat people a bit differently on their big day, making them feel special. It is often said that people always remember how you make them feel. * There are three components of job satisfaction: Intrinsic Motivation, Extrinsic Rewards, Work Environment and Relationships Evaluate these. If one (or more) of these is off, then it may be time to talk to your manager about improvements that could be made. There's no harm in asking. This is an excellent overall book. There are certain aspects of this book that keep it from being even better. It's highly idealistic and generalized. We wouldn't exactly call all of the advice in this book realistic, specific, or even practical. For example, the author constantly talks about working less and going home (from work) early. A lot of this advice would work in an ideal world. However, sadly, this is not an ideal world. You can't just magically wave your hand and work less hours and leave work whenever you like. You've got duties, responsibilities, and bills to pay. In any case, this is still a great read for some inspiration and words to live by. Check it out on Amazon!  Score: 94+/100 (9.4+ out of 10)
The Pact by Lisa Darcy combines two things that we absolutely love: FAMILY and SPORTS! Mix that with some drama and romance, and you've got yourself a pretty darn compelling story! The Pact follows the dynamic sibling duo of Samantha & Annie Callahan, two highly-successful Australian tennis players. A perennial top-ranked doubles teams, they were even gold medalists in the Olympics! However, the once-inseparable sisters, now in their late 20s—both disgruntled in different ways—are at a diverging point. The eldest, Samantha (age 29), is obsessed with success and being the best in the sport. She takes losing a game at the Australian Open like it's an absolute catastrophe, becoming emotional, angry, and belligerent at herself, her sister, and others. However, before you jump to the conclusion that Samantha is the bad, crazy, or troubled one, the truth is actually much more nuanced. In fact, it would be easier to argue that Annie (age 26) is more troubled, problematic, and less stable of the two. Annie is young, scatterbrained, vulnerable, and impressionable. Meanwhile, Samantha is focused, determined, and goal-driven. She is also far and away the more responsible of the two, as older siblings tend to be. Though Annie is frustrating, it's hard not to sympathize with her. Put yourself in her shoes. For two decades, the only life she has known has been tennis and tennis competitions. Alongside Samantha, she has practiced and trained tirelessly day after day after day. She has been hurt and injured (like most serious athletes). She has reached the heights of the Olympics and the equivalent of national and world championships. However, she has never gotten to truly live. She has all this fame and attention, yet no true friend or acquaintance except for her sister and their coach, Bear (Bern Devlin). Enter Erik Sorensen, a toxic tennis groupie who seems to shower Annie with all the romantic and intimate attention she has long been deprived of. Erik effectively serves as the main villain or antagonistic figure, at least in the early half of the story. Erik proposes to Annie right before her crucial semi-finals match in the Australian Open—an ill-timed, inconsiderate proposal that Samantha rightfully identifies as a distraction. Erik's lack of consideration is on full display throughout the story. However, his lack of consideration is the least of his faults. Even worse, he is possessive, controlling, and manipulative of Annie, even needing to know where she is and who she's talking to at all times. He's also flirtatious and untrustworthy. Samantha correctly identifies Erik as a womanizer, often targeting female tennis players at gatherings and parties. In fact, a few of the other female tennis players (like Dragana Lukic of Serbia) are said to have dated him. Ironically, Erik doesn't speak, read, or understand English very well. We are told that he is Norwegian and from Norway, so he often speaks in broken English and uses awkward phrasing like calling Annie his “new Koala.” Perhaps most annoying of all, Erik is a constant distraction. During practices, he often shouts advice and instructions to Annie that run contrary to her coach, Bear. Annie's toxic relationship with Erik leads her down a dark path including a meteoric plunge in her tennis career and a falling out with Samantha—who is also affected by the deterioration of her sister and doubles teammate. This leads her to make seriously poor choices that could probably warrant a trigger warning and spoiler warning all at once. In any case, this is compelling story about siblings, sisters, family, and sports. It is full of many ups and downs, highs and lows. Both Samantha and Annie are very compelling characters. Later on in the story, we are also introduced to other characters like Courtney Gold, a young prodigy who is paired with Samantha as a substitute during Annie's escapades. Courtney is snobbish, arrogant, unreliable, and even lazy at times. We're even told that she hates to move around and use any sort of quickness or agility when she plays, opting to stay put like a statue as much as possible. Despite being portrayed as unlikable and annoying, Courtney effectively serves as a foil to both Annie and Samantha. She represents the sister that both sisters are losing, the sister that both sisters miss deep down in their hearts. Courtney is also an interesting character in her own right. She's a glimpse into what Samantha and Annie might have been like when they were younger—self-assured and pig-headed. There's always a question as to whether or not Courtney will be invited or included in gatherings because she gets on everyone's nerves. There's also the aforementioned Dragana Lukic who starts to suffer from a weight problem later on in the story. It's actually quite relatable and sympathetic, oddly enough. Her increased weight slows her down and dramatically affects her performance on the court. This is also an issue that Annie, in particular, can relate to. Her own weight fluctuates along with changes in her life, attitude, and circumstances. There are a few love interests in this book aside from the villainous Erik. There's Zach Baxter, a former tennis player who had career-ending injury and who turned to being a tennis photographer. He comes to greatly admire and crush on Annie. There's also Coach Bear (Bern), who has long had a mutual attraction and affection for Samantha. It could be argued that Samantha and Coach Bear are the main couple and romantic duo of the story as a whole. There's a lot of romantic and sexual tension in their relationship. As player and coach, Samantha and Bear recognize each other as professionals and as “the best” in their respective roles. However, this makes starting and maintaining a romantic relationship very dangerous. Each of them knows that if they were to break up, it could end either of their careers (if not both), so they are apprehensive to pursue a romantic relationship. This is a story full of drama and interesting characters. We loved that involved a great sport like tennis and that it is a uniquely Australian story, all the way down to the sisters sharing a pack of Tim Tams (Australian chocolate biscuits). It does drag a little bit, especially 3/4ths of the way in. There are also errors here and there. For example: “For what’s it’s worth” It's strange how this book is actually quite good, has a compelling premise, and has interesting characters, yet we expected to enjoy it even more. Maybe it's the fact that plot became a bit too winding-and-weaving. Maybe it's the fact that the book got away from being about tennis (which we found unique and exciting) and being more of a romance/drama, which we read about all the time. In any case, it was still an interesting and compelling read. Check it out on Amazon!  Score: 94/100 (9.4 out of 10)
How to Stand Up to Bullying is a spirited, inspirational, and empowering self-help/non-fiction book by M.C. Ryder. How to Stand Up to Bullying surprised us with the elegance, eloquence, and sheer quality of the writing! We were genuinely (and pleasantly) surprised by this, especially since earlier works by M.C. Ryder left a lot to be desired in terms of grammar and writing quality. M.C. Ryder has definitely come into her own, weaving together brilliant passages like: - “They swim in a sea of bitterness” - “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” (Note that this beautifully puts forward the idea that hate is learned and that no one is born hateful or evil) - “An act of kindness can make a difference and save lives. Why? It provides hope. Provides a light when someone might be drowning in a dark tunnel of despair. If we all claim to want world peace, it starts with kindness.” (Note the alliteration in “dark tunnel of despair” and the contrast between light and dark) - “They are the thunder; you are the lightning. You are more powerful than you think you are and they don’t want you to recognize it because once you do, you become a threat.” (Note the force and ferocity of this empowering passage!) - “Stand tall, even if you’re afraid. Don’t let them see your fear. They are counting on it. To twist your fear and use it against you when, in reality, their fear outweighs yours.” - “By suppressing emotions, you are allowing yourself to live in the dark when we are all meant to live in the light. Dark is hate. Hate is Satan. Light is love. Love is God.” (This passage juxtaposes light and dark, love and hate, in a way that feels lyrical, connecting deeper emotions to spiritual concepts.) How to Stand Up to Bullying by M.C. Ryder explores various aspects of bullying, including its psychological roots, the motivations behind bullies, and the impact on both the victims and the bullies themselves. It covers topics such as the psychology of a bully, mental bullying, bullying in the workplace, and even more nuanced forms of manipulation and narcissism. Each chapter delves into understanding the behavior of bullies and offers practical strategies for standing up to them, empowering readers to assert themselves and break the cycle of bullying. The book’s tone is both informative and personal, blending insights from the author’s personal experiences with broader societal reflections. It also includes advice on handling bullies in different contexts—school, workplace, and personal relationships—emphasizing the importance of self-worth, assertiveness, and resilience. It's a book about standing up to evil and hate while also being comfortable, confident, and content in your own skin. It also reveals the roots of these feelings and the fact that EVERYONE is susceptible to them, from the neighborhood miscreant to the local pastor. People who feel insecure, uncertain, vulnerable, and weak will often pick on others to compensate for their own ill feelings and egos. This book also provides great information for those who've been bullied or parents of children who are being bullied. We were pleasantly surprised by the emotional depth, insights, and writing quality of this book—arguably M.C. Ryder's best yet! Check it out on Amazon!  Score: 93/100 (9.3 out of 10)
The Dark Mother by Jamilette Cintron is a chilling and thought-provoking short story collection. It takes the precedence set by Mother Goose stories and flips that formula on its head with a darker, grittier, bloodier, gorier, more violent, and more pessimistic take. This is a sugar-filled treat—a literary jelly-filled doughnut—for the morbid grimdark fans among us! It goes without saying that a bunch of TRIGGER WARNINGS could proceed this book including for sexual assault, rape, murder, suicide, and more. WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD “When Monsters Meet” hearkens back to traditional mythological stories in which a wrongfully violated young woman (and her baby) is brutally avenged by a deity in a sort of post mortem deus ex machina. Specifically, the young Ebi is violated and murdered by a male warlock named Sir Donnell, who wrestles with his dark urges and inner demons. The spirits of the sea viciously dismember Sir Donnell, a perfect retribution for a brutal and savage act. “The Beauty of Sin” reminded us of the iconic line from The Dark Knight: "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." The story follows Celine, a so-called “sin eater” and witch who has her purity and healing magic stolen after a brutal attack. She seeks violence, making a pact with a powerful being to absorb the sins of others in order to exact her revenge on those who wronged her. As you might expect, the weight of all the evil and sins she absorbs gradually erodes her morality, turning her into the very kind of monster that she has been hunting. Like a drug, she becomes addicted to this curse, refusing to pass the darkness on, always chasing the elusive high. Now, you think that these two other stories would've been the ones that put us off, but it was the next story (“To the Depths of Despair”) that really got to us and made us step away for a moment. Why? Well, because it deals with a naive, innocent young woman (who genuinely sounds like a minor) who seems to be caught in a questionable relationship with an unnamed, older man called “the Gringo,” who impregnates her twice despite their age differences. The first of the children is passed off as an orphan that the protagonist and Mami discovered (so as not to upset Papi). The second dies due to asphyxiation by the umbilical cord. The protagonist brutally murders the Gringo with a meathook after being rejected and betrayed. Driven completely insane, the protagonist—if you could even call her one at this point—seeks to preserve her baby daughter's corpse by sewing a new suit of skin for her every year, using skin from other murdered babies. What's extra disturbing about this story compared to the previous ones is that the victims include people (babies) who are innocent and did nothing wrong to the protagonist. In the previous stories, the victims were usually bad or sinful people themselves who deserved some degree of retribution or comeuppance. Now, we have a confession to make. We thought that “The Ramblings of a Loved Wife” and “The Safe Space” were in the same continuity and pretty much the same story. Why? Well, they both deal with female murderers. However, when we stepped back and thought about it, it makes more sense that they're two separate stories with two separate murderers who have some similarities. It makes more sense because in “Ramblings,” it seemed clear that the murderer and the husband had been together for a while. With “The Safe Space,” we're told that the murderer travels from town to town seducing and killing men. Maybe they're intertextual. Who knows? Anyway, going back to “Ramblings,” this story contains one of the most shocking, brutal, visceral, and gory scenes in the book—and that's saying a lot! However, this castration in the middle of oral sex is described so delicately and—dare we say—beautifully, that we have to give the writer credit. Consider the line: “I feel my mouth fill up, like when you bite into a fruit gusher. Except this was not fruit and my mouth was filled with warm gush of copper and flesh.” Geez! Gnarly! There are some other great lines in this book, many of which reflect the book's bleak, pessimistic, nihilistic, macabre nature: “People say they are making the world better by building computers and fancy new cars. But what they do not seem to understand is that with every new idea comes about an even uglier outcome.” Tell me friend, are you Holy or are you human? What makes one more so then the other? Who in all this madness was the teacher and who was the student?” “...if he is dead and I am dead then he can not leave me. then[SIC] our spirits could wonder[SIC] the earth as gilded lovers together forever. Plus ghost don’t cheat so we will finally be happy.” This captivating book could've used a few rounds of edits and revisions. For example, “then” in the previous passage should've been capitalized. Also: “Her love lied in helping the sick” should be “Her love lay in helping the sick.” "...laid in her once loving home" should be "lay in her once loving home." The word “pledged” is incorrectly used instead of the word “plagued” in the following two passages: “For every sin you consume you will be pledged with it” “...held captive by the beast that pledged his life for so long.” All in all, this is an interesting and unique collection of dark stories. Check it out on Amazon!  Score: 89/100 (8.9 out of 10)
Are you a fan of kaiju or prehistoric creatures? Do you like films like Jurassic Park III and Jaws: The Revenge? Do you enjoy giant monsters fighting each other? Are you willing to put up with a little hokiness, cheesiness, unnecessary human side characters, and cringe-worthy dialogue and jokes? Well, then, Terror in Big Bend by Ethan Richards may be right up your alley! We'll just be blunt: this isn't the most refined or best written series. To its defense, few of the Godzilla movies were very refined or well-written either. Yes, every now and then you'd get a Godzilla (1954), Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974), or a Godzilla Minus One (2023); however, those high-quality works are far and in between. That's not why most people watch and get hooked on monster movies. They watch monster movies for the simple spectacle of seeing the monsters doing monster things: breaking stuff, breaking people, and breaking each other in a way that most people can't in their every day lives. It's cathartic, in a sense. Terror in Big Bend isn't the kind of book that wins Pulitzer Prizes. It also doesn't have the deepest, most emotionally-compelling and riveting characters either. This isn't really a series for someone who wants to hyper-analyze, become emotionally-invested, and/or take everything seriously. This series featured Meth Gator for goodness sake. You can't take these books seriously, and that's part of their charm and appeal. Similar to an absurdist book like Club X: Zombie in the Fridge by S.P. Somtow or Quantum Consequence by Mike Murphey, Terror in Big Bend is better read if you turn off your brain a bit and just try to enjoy the guns, action, and coolness of the monsters. In that sense, it's actually a bit like a typical, made-for-TV Syfy Channel flick, simply there to be fun, cool, and entertaining for the nerd folk and geekdom. Terror in Big Bend revolves around a series of strange and terrifying events in Big Bend State Park, Texas, after the discovery of a prehistoric creature, a Gorgonopsian (often just called “the Gorgon”). This begins with the brutal death of a young runner, Enrique Esparza, who is killed by the creature. This leads to an investigation by Texas State Park Police Officer Jorge Mondragon, who seems to be the books main character (though we bizarrely forgot all about him after a while because he blends and blurs into the background of the narrative). As Jorge delves deeper into the mystery, he uncovers evidence of drug cartel activity in the area, which adds another layer of danger to the situation. The story escalates when it becomes clear that the prehistoric beast is not just an isolated occurrence, and more sinister forces might be involved in its appearance. Mondragon, a former member of the Texas Army National Guard, is soon fighting for his life, battling both the ferocious creature and human adversaries connected to the cartels. The remote, rugged terrain of Big Bend becomes a deadly playground where survival against overwhelming odds becomes the central focus. Throughout the book, suspense builds with intense action sequences, as characters face the terror of a revived prehistoric monster and the darker human motivations behind its return. Jorge is joined by a rather forgettable group of specialists, experts, and misfits who are also determined to find and hunt the Gorgon. This includes members of the Dark Water team and a group that includes Felix American Pony, Gotham (Antonio Arzaga), Brody, Mustache (Everrett Pacheco), Tennyson, and other characters we pretty much forgot existed because of their genericness. They are pretty much the equivalent of NPCs or pawns on a chess board. You know that many of them aren't going to make it to the end of the game, and it really doesn't matter either way. None of these guys is particularly deep or memorable. Honestly, Jorge himself is quite generic and forgettable. However, the book does have a star: THE GORGON! The Gorgon shines in that, rather than just being a mindless monster or a killing machine, he actually seems like a living, breathing, biological creature who is just trying to survive. If that means throwing his weight around and killing/eating a few people, then so be it. We eat fish, cows, and pigs, why can't the Gorgon eat a few humans? That doesn't make him evil. It just makes him hungry and resourceful. Furthermore, the Gorgon isn't alone. We actually learn that the Gorgon actually has a mating partner and that these Gorgons are pretty much the last hope for their species—like two giant man-eating endangered pandas that somehow acquired a taste for human flesh. The main (male) Gorgon also has some interesting moments and characteristics. Even though he looks like a reptile, he's often described as acting more like a big cat similar to a leopard or cougar. He exhibits cat-like behavior like randomly cat-napping and knocking things over. In fact, one of the best moments in this book is actually when—in the middle of fighting one of the characters (Tennyson), who isn't doing much damage to it—the Gorgon actually falls asleep! It's somewhat humorous how Tennyson take offense to being ignored and not taken seriously by the creature. What's even more humorous is that the Gorgon curls up into a ball while lying down similar to how a cat would. The Gorgon also elicits human-like feelings and emotions, if even basic ones. For example, in another of the book's better scenes, he outright mourns the loss of his mate by howling and wailing. If anything, the Gorgon is the most compelling character in the book, both by default (being the main monster) and because he's the best written. However, what elevates this book is the presence of a second major monster: the Titanoboa, a 40+ foot long, 2,500+ pound MONSTER—the biggest snake that ever lived. What a formidable foe! Similar to The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, the epic conclusion involves the main characters pitting these two monsters against each other. And it's quite a fight! In fact, it's a fight that's so epic and long that it does a complete 180 and becomes drawn-out, tiresome, and jading. Hey, we love the Goku-Frieza Namek fight as much as anyone, but there was no good reason for this fight to take this long. There's such a thing as there being too much of a good thing. It becomes cloying and overstays its welcome after a while. Really, the worst thing about this book are the cringe-worthy jokes and pop culture references. There are jokes and pop culture references about Jurassic Park, Breaking Bad, Demolition Man, and more. All of these references just seem forced and unnecessary. They often seem random and out of place. Speaking of random and out of place, there's some really silly, random, out of place, cringy dialogue in here. Perhaps the worst of these is when Mustache goes down and we get this line: “I… I really liked Mustache... He was the first guy to make me laugh” This is followed by another character exclaiming, “Mustache was my friend! Are you insane?” It's so... cartoonish and unnatural. It's hokey and cheesy. Maybe you'll like that stuff. A “great Turkmenistan horse” just shows up in this book for... some reason. We love Turkmenistan being referenced, but... why? How does this fit into the story? Is it because Turkmenistan horses are prized and the Gorgon maybe be prized as one of the “exotics?” Guess that kinda makes sense. There's also the line: “There are dinosaurs out there!” Yes, there are! And this is officially a script right out of a B-movie. This book could really use some formatting and fleshing out. We'd personally love to see a more serious take on a monster story. Why? Well, when the tone of a story like this is more serious, the stakes also feel more real and compelling. We don't want to see characters die. We're afraid and in suspense at every turn of the page. However, this book as is—as silly, goofy, and random as it is—is too hard to take seriously. It's hard to care when certain characters die and drop like flies. It's especially hard when we get likes like “Mustache was my friend!” and “He was the first guy to make me laugh” when one of these characters does die. Instead of being sad and emotionally riveted, we find ourselves laughing at cheesiness of these lines. It's also strange and unnecessary how the Cartel is woven into this story. They kinda fill the archetype of the random aliens who appear in Godzilla films, brainwashing the creatures, then disappearing from the series never to be mentioned again. All in all, though, there are still things to enjoy about this book, particularly the Gorgon and the Titanoboa. Check it out on Amazon! |
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