Review of "A Gift of Love" by Tony Cointreau

Score: 96/100 (9.6 out of 10)

A Gift of Love: Lessons Learned From My Work and Friendship with Mother Teresa is the centerpiece, magnum opus, and crowning achievement of Tony Cointreau's literary collection!

Of the three books we've read from Cointreau, A Gift of Love just encapsulates all the best things about Cointreau's work and experiences. It's so warm, so heartfelt, and so touching. It touched our hearts, our minds, and our souls in a way that few books, including Cointreau's own, do.

It's actually a bit hard to explain why. It's not just the name recognition and star power of Mother Teresa herself (who actually appears surprisingly little in the book, similar to Cointreau's Ethel Merman book). No, this book is so much more than that.

You know what it is? Maybe it's that this book never lets up. It never becomes dull or drawn-out or or flat or boring. It's relentless. Something is always happening—something dramatic, tragic, beautiful, loving, caring, exciting—a range of experiences and emotions connected to those experiences.

Every page seemingly covers a new experience with one of the many remarkable patients at A Gift of Love AIDS hospice in impoverished Calcutta. And what's especially wonderful about this book and these patients is how Tony Cointreau is able to unravel the layers of humanity behind each patient.

Where do we even begin?
All of these patients are fascinating, and Cointreau really highlights each of them in a beautiful way.

Well, how about we talk about Tony's approach first?
He comes at these patients, as Mother Teresa taught and advocated, with unconditional love, non judgement, an open heart, open arms, and open ears. That's right: we said open ears. And that's crucial because, as Tony points out, a lot of these patients are past the point of trying to be physically healed or cured. They know that they're dying. They also know that they don't have much money and many of them don't have friends or family. So, what do they have? Stories, feeling, experiences—things locked up in their chests and held there, often painfully. They just want to let them out. They just want to talk and for someone to listen, without fear of judgment or correction. They're not looking for advice or tips or lessons. They're looking for an open ear.

This actually reminded us of something we learned from The Ominous Struggle by George Beasley:

"One of the book’s strongest messages is the necessity of support that is both loving and compassionate. Beasley emphasizes that true support isn’t just about offering tips, advice, or words of encouragement—it requires genuine understanding, patience, and the willingness to walk alongside someone in their struggles. Judgment and superficial gestures do little to help those facing hardships, but unwavering kindness, empathy, and faith-driven support can be life-changing."

It's also incredible to note that a lot of the patients in this Catholic hospice in the middle of India are actually gay, trans, and/or suffering from addictions. They're not your idealized, white-washed picture of Catholics, Christians, or Indians, and yet... Cointreau is able to see their souls—to see their value and how much God loves them despite their situations, inclinations, and prior choices. It's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful is that Cointreau is able to convey that to the reader: these people are more than their sexualities, their non-binary genders, or they're addictions: they're human beings made in the image of God just like the rest of us. They have value, meaning, and they are deserving of love, care, and compassion.

Here are some of our favorite moments and people in this book:

- Mother Teresa is, of course, one of the book's selling points. We don't see much of her, but what's incredible is how the author is able to give first-hand accounts of her. One thing in particular is that Cointreau describes Mother Teresa's demeanor as never changing, staying warm and welcoming even when crowds of people were trying to touch her and flash cameras in her face. Many celebrities would respond defensively or push back, but Mother Teresa was calm throughout.

- There’s a patient named Donald who, at first glance, just looks like a generic homeless man off the street. However, Cointreau quickly discovers that Donald is a deep, thoughtful soul who reads books about saints and spirituality. Donald ends up giving one of the volunteers his favorite T-shirt so that, when she travels back to Ireland, she can literally “carry his love” with her. It is such a small gesture on the surface, yet it represents something enormous: even a man who has lost almost everything still has love to give and wants it to go out into the world.

- Abraham is one of the most heartbreaking and inspiring figures in the book. He comes in nearly blind, having lost his chance for surgery, and in the late stages of AIDS. As Abraham opens up to Tony, he admits that his deepest, unfulfilled wish was to complete his transition and live openly as a woman before he died. Tony does not recoil, moralize, or treat that as a side note. He treats that dream as sacred and central to Abraham’s humanity. Again, this highlights that these patients are not “cases” or “sinners” or “statistics.” They are people with dreams, identities, and histories.

- Wendell is another standout. On the surface, he looks like an educated, sophisticated man with a sharp mind. As he shares his story, though, we learn he survived an abusive childhood in Tennessee, ran away, did sex work as a teenager, and later performed in drag shows. There is a devastating scene in which his mother refuses to visit him at the hospice. Afterward, Wendell asks Tony for a hug, saying that sometimes a hug is the best medicine. That one moment says so much about how love can partially heal wounds that medicine never could.

- Mario’s story really shows how far Tony is willing to go to be present for someone in pain. Mario suffers horrible spasms every fifteen or twenty minutes. Medications barely touch it. What helps most is Tony’s physical presence, especially his hand. Tony promises Mario that whenever he calls, Tony will come and let Mario clutch his hand until the wave of pain passes. That simple human contact becomes the best “painkiller” in the building. It is such a powerful illustration of how much healing is possible without a prescription pad.

- Willie Jones might be one of the most quietly saintly figures in the book. He walks in with canes, complicated health problems, and not much time left. Yet what radiates from him is not bitterness but pure love. Willie insists that he loves all people and respects all religions. The peace that surrounds him at the end of his life feels like the fulfillment of everything this hospice is trying to do: to help people die in love rather than in fear.

- Francisco gives us one of the clearest examples of repentance and transformation. He is so angry and resentful when he arrives that he secretly pours detergent into the fish tank, killing all of the fish. That could have been the end of his story, a petty act of destruction by a bitter man. Instead, Francisco confesses, offers to clean the tank, and works to replace the fish, even paying back the money he borrows. Over time, he softens and becomes gentler and more loving. His arc shows that unconditional love does not mean you never confront wrongdoing. It means you walk with people as they repair it.

- James’s chapter might be the one that sticks in our memory the longest. James cannot speak clearly or see; he seems trapped inside a failing body. Tony feels useless until he suddenly feels prompted to sing “His Eye Is on the Sparrow” and other hymns and spirituals. James’s face lights up, and he starts to “sing” along in sounds rather than words. Over and over, Tony sees rigid bodies soften, pain ease, and fear melt away through music and touch. It is incredibly moving and, frankly, unforgettable.

The author also captures the shocking, overwhelming poverty of Calcutta—the likes of which is lightyears beyond anything in America. However, he's also able to show us the light there as well. There's a particularly tense yet funny scene in which Tony encounters a patient who is scary to literally everyone else, so he commits to making himself "too nice a guy to take hostage or strangle." We got a chuckle over that.

Check it out on Amazon!