Review of “LASTING Transformation” by Abby Rosen, PhD

Score: 95+/100 (9.5+ out of 10)

Lasting Transformation is an ambitious, introspective, and empowering self-help book by Abby Rosen, PhD!

This book provides a unique combination of practical and—what we would call—“metaphysical” advice to help you to achieve your best and happiest self.

Something we appreciated about this book is that this isn't a book about being an alpha-male or lady boss. It isn't a book about crushing your enemies, opponents, and problems. It's not a book about getting rich quick. It's not a book about hooking up with guys or girls. It's a book about being YOU-- a fulfilled YOU, a HAPPY YOU.

From beginning to end, Rosen emphasizes how important it is to prioritize your happiness and mental health/well-being. So many times, we sacrifice ourselves, our health, and/or our happiness to make others happy. So many times, we work ourselves into the ground to make someone else rich. We go out with someone to make them or our parents or friends happy. We stay in unhappy relationships because it's what others want. We keep working unhappy jobs because we don't see a way out or we don't want to displease our employers or coworkers. We don't follow our dreams for one reason or another.

Worst of all, we say that this is life and that's all there is to it.

The voice that tells us that “this is life and that's all there is to it” (or other such things) is one of many negative, pessimistic voices that keep us down and hold us back. They rob us of our smiles and our laughter.

On that note, one of the things that the author talks a lot about are the voices—the subpersonalities—that make us sad, depressed, anxious, or feel utterly defeated. These include the “Pusher.” That is the voice that keeps telling us to go, go, go and that we haven't achieved enough to deserve good things yet. There's the “Beach Bum,” the voice that tells us that it's not worth trying or doing. There's the “Inner Critic,” the one that keeps us from doing or saying stuff so we don't make a fool of ourselves in front of others (supposedly). There are the “Nurturing Parent” and “Critical Parent” voices that seem to hover over us like a helicopter, a puppeteer controlling our every movement. There are our various “Inner Child” voices that often feel scared, nervous, or vulnerable. There's the “Perfectionist,” the voice that is obsessed with everything being absolutely perfect, else the person risks feeling defeated or disappointed. This voice, similar to the Pusher, almost never seems to be happy, satisfied, or content. That's because perfection is a futile and impossible pursuit.

All of these voices have their place and exist for a reason, however, one of the keys to our happiness, fulfillment, and mental health is knowing when to listen to these voices and when to silence them.

On that note, one of the biggest takeaways we had from this book is that YOU are in control, not the voices. YOU make the final decision. YOU choose to be happy.

While that may not be the most unique affirmative concept ever, it's definitely powerful and meaningful. It restores power back to the person rather than their negative, pessimistic subpersonalities.

Speaking of being empowered and being in control, some of our favorite quotes from this book are:

“I have a mind, I am not my mind”

“I have emotions, I am not my emotions”

These are powerful! A lot of us feel like we are “emotional people” and can't see life without being completely guided by our emotions, for better or for worse. Likewise, a lot of us feel like our minds (or bodies) are all that we are, but that's far from the truth. We are a whole. We have dimensions and layers. This book even seems to take the perspective that we have a soul and/or a spiritual self that transcends those things while also intersecting them. Our brains are one of many organs that keep our selves chugging and churning.

This book also emphasizes the importance of relationships and how they both teach us and reveal new things to us—about the world, other people, and ourselves. One of our other favorite quotes from this book is: “Hearts that don't touch can't ignite.” This refers to the mental blocks or apprehension that keep us from fully experiencing or immersing ourselves in relationships. A lot of these blocks or apprehensions come from repressed or hidden (often poorly-hidden) issues, some of which spring from negative experiences in the past like abuse, infidelity, or some other betrayal of trust.

This book is actually an amazing read, particularly in its first half. However, we have some reservations about the second half of this book. The reason we say that is that this book seems to take a complete 180 in its second half, emphasizing more meta concepts like spirituality and meditation—to what seemed like a pseudo-religious degree. That's not something we were necessarily braced or prepared for. Many readers may be put off by this, especially if they were bought into the more practical concepts in this book.

Similar to REAL Psychology by Scott Flagg, PhD, this book starts getting into bizarro territory with weird concepts like “Soul Wisdom Consciousness.” There's even the questionable quote that “meditation is medication.” Having just read the article “Mindfulness Would Be Good For You If It Weren’t So Selfish” by Thomas Joiner, also an accomplished psychologist (who developed the Interpersonal Theory of Suicide), we view those kinds of statements with heavy skepticism. As Joiner alluded to in that article, mindfulness and meditation are not magical or a replacement for modern medicine. That's not to say they can't help, we'd just caution against overselling these things.

Otherwise, this is a great book!

Check it out on Amazon!