Review of "Little Boy, I Know Your Name" by Mitchell Raff

Score: 9.6/100 (9.6 out of 10)

Little Boy, I Know Your Name by Mitchell Raff is one of the most emotionally riveting and impactful memoirs we've ever read! And that's saying a lot considering the number of memoirs we encounter here.

It's no wonder why so many people urged and pressured Raff to write and publish a book about his life--what a life it is!

This book is simultaneously a memoir and a memorial to those who suffer from generational trauma and also to the very special people in Raff's life who've sadly passed, like Malka/ Regina, Issa, Sally, and Yosef.

In fact, one of the most special things about this book are Raff's relationships with these incredible, wonderful people, as we'll get to later.

Anyway, Little Boy, I Know Your Name really seems to center around Raff's turbulent and abusive upbringing and relationship with his mother, a Holocaust survivor who watched as her people were betrayed and murdered around her, desparately hiding in a farm.The trauma that Raff's mother and father experienced can't be emphasized enough. However, mother's choices and actions later in life, mostly inflicted on Mitchell, are difficult to excuse.

Mother's abuse of Mitchell is constant, persistent, and often seems entirely unprovoked, undeserved, and unnecessary. Mother is arguably the main villain/antagonist of this book, if we're going to look at it from a literary lense. She is the definition of a real-life monster.

This book does an excellent job at towing the line between putting her abuse across to the reader without venturing so deep and dark that the book becomes nigh-unreadable, something we experienced with other memoirs about abuse. We've read books about abuse that are just incident after incident after incident--relentless. Raff knows what to talk about and knows when enough is enough.

Mitchell's relationship with his mother is very interesting because you can tell that there's a part of him that's still sentimental toward her despite her terror. For example, Mitchell believes that his mother had a point when she challenged the moving contractors who tried to bait-and-switch or upsell her. He fears "betraying" her to child protective services. And he eventually has a better headstone built for her when she inevitably passes.

Their relationship is so painful to read about, but it's also fascinating. It's like watching a car crash. You can't look away.

And it never loses that tender emotional touch.
One of the great things about this book is how emotionally riveting and resonant it is. You truly feel for Mitchell as a son, a brother, and a guy battling his personal demons. Ok, you might not feel so much for him as a husband or even a father (we'll get to that), but that's for the reader to decide.

Mitchell really has two relationships in this book that we would describe as "Oh, so beautiful!"

The first and foremost of these relationships is with Regina/Malka (Malka is her Hebrew name), Mitchell's sister.

When they're separated, it cuts even deeper than any of mother's abuse. It literally hurt us every time they were apart. When a book can impact a reader that powerfully, you know you've got something special.

There's also the mystery of Malka's parentage, particularly her father. One of the most tense scenes in the entire book is a grown Mitchell confronting his aged and ailing mother about who Malka's father is. We were on the edge of our seats! It was like watching a potential game-winning field-goal or goal-line stand.

Mitchell's relationship with Issa is also special because Issa really acts like a surrogate father to him. He's like the father that Mitchell always wanted and deserved but never truly had. Issa is a heroic and savior-like figure throughout the book, except on one occasion where he controversially rejects Mitchell's lover, Betty, for no other reason than her religion/heritage (being non-Jewish). This scene is actually a turning point in the book. It's really the scene when Mitchell finally starts becoming his own mature person, making decisions for himself whether his guardians/parents support them or not.

Betty is a tragic and sympathetic figure in this book, in our opinion. Yes, her marriage with Mitchell doesn't work out very well, but she becomes a great mother and shared-parent to Joshua, all the while putting up with Mitchell's B.S., especially his addictions.

So often in memoirs, the author tries to skew things to make themselves out to be the victim. However, Raff presents a fair and balanced take, taking a lot of the responsibility and blame for the bad things that happened in his life.

It takes courage and strength to admit to one's faults and mistakes.

And that leads us to the most honest and frustrating parts of this book: Raff's battle with his sexual addiction. He develops a bad habit of going from one sexual massage to another, from one strip club to the next, and eventually began a decades-long affair with a woman named Lee.

His relationship with Lee is best described or summarized in the following passage:
"...our little clown car of dysfunction continued to wobble down the road."

For two decades, they break up, then get back together.

Shoutout to Betty for putting up with these circumstances. She deserves a lot of credit.

There are also a lot of legal battles and more compelling drama in this book, including with Raff's son, Joshua.

What a life!

Check it out on Amazon!