Score: 94/100 (9.4 out of 10)
Losers is an absolutely hilarious collection of comedic and satirical short stories by K.E. Adamus, a newcomer to our contests! What a phenomenal debut! In this book, Adamus showcases excellent writing and a variety of comedic techniques, including self-aware and self-deprecating humor, dark humor, sarcasm, erroneous statements, flawed rationalization, and turning tragic or serious moments into "eh... so what?" situations. These are not skills just any writer can master—it takes talent and intellect to pull off. Kudos to Adamus for doing so! We haven't read or reviewed a funnier collection of short stories since Stumbling Through Adulthood by John Sheirer two years ago. Bacon Grief by Joel Shoemaker is also a strong contender. Despite this competition, Losers stands out as an incredibly enjoyable and humorous read. Let's start with the first story: "Space Shits." This story follows Vlad, a depressed and pessimistic forester who is supposed to protect the forest from poachers and other threats. However, it seems these issues have their hooks in him instead. Vlad is a hot mess, and while his situation might typically evoke sympathy, the comedic, over-the-top way he handles his emotions and the writer's presentation make it hilarious. Vlad copes with his negative emotions by writing lists of self-affirmations that are more negative and pessimistic than intended. He's so down in the dumps that he can't get out of his own way! Vlad's list reminded us of Chris Jericho's "List of Jericho," where he lists things he dislikes, wants to complain about, or finds mildly annoying. To think that this forester, who is supposed to protect the environment, wastes his time writing these lists just to keep himself going is both ironic and humorous. Vlad's list is a brilliant use of irony and juxtaposition. They say one thing but mean another, aiming to be positive but coming across as negative: "You will be a loser anyway, so there is no need to be proactive, but you need to do something with your time." "Even if you get any success, the fate and future are dark and stormy, but at least something happens." "The worse your fate, the fewer friends you have, and the more time for yourself." Oh, and by the way, there's an ACTUAL FREAKIN' ALIEN in this story! Its name is X-442. We had to double-check and triple-check. We couldn't believe it. This story jumped the shark, but in the best possible way! It reminded us of one of our favorite MadTV skits (“Easy Bake Oven” starring Viola Davis of all people). In that skit, an alien chases and attacks a midget dressed as a pirate for no reason similar to what happens with the alien and the poachers in this story. Gosh, just thinking about it has us reeling! Another hilarious story titled “The Seller” follows a door-to-door salesman named Jack who feels trapped and enslaved by the unscrupulous, crooked company he works for and his unscrupulous, crooked boss, Marc. Marc is probably the best villain out of all the stories int his book. It's not so much that Marc is necessarily evil or sadistic or anything like that, but Marc is SO UNLIKABLE! He comes across as extremely selfish and greedy. He perpetually dangles carrots over the heads of his employees, offering them potential recognition for hitting sales goals or harsh reprimands, shaming, and punishments for falling short (which Jack often does). You can really tell why Jack hates his job yet sticks with it. The dude is SCARED! He's like the middle-class in a communist society, if he moves up or down, he's as good as dead the next day, either via starvation, imprisonment, execution or assassination! Ok, we're exaggerating a little bit, but Jack definitely feels threatened and bullied constantly, particularly by Marc. Gosh, this guy deserves his comeuppance! There are funny and charming moments of this book. For example, one of the buyers of Jack's books is a librarian at the local library who was earlier described as demanding that an angry lady return her book “Raising Chicken” (which is supposedly past-due). The lady responds, “But I have not borrowed it. Do I look like a chicken raising fan?” This interaction, similar to the alien in the other story, is so random and out of left field, yet it's hilarious nonetheless! Also, the librarian only offers to buy books from Jack because there are men with rippling abs on the cover (of the romance novels) and the library is willing to pay for them. That's... more or less how the publishing industry is now. Sex sells. Romance novels tend to dominate best-seller lists over much more deserving titles. Entire publishing houses exclusively publish romance novels because they know they sell like hotcakes. So, the satire works in this regard. This story also has arguably the best twist-ending in the entire book. We won't spoil it for you, but it is just about perfect! There are a few hit-or-miss stories in this book. Probably our least favorite was “The Chronicler” which details a court chronicler who has been cursed to transform into a bird by his deceased lover, Hermenegilda, a witch who was burned at the stake. There's a tragedy, irony, and wit to this story. It's probably the most poetic of the stories and definitely the darkest and most depressing, mostly because of the consequences that the characters are now eternally stuck with. What a grim fate! There's also “A Bet” in which a deaf girl, Maggie, gets entangled in illegal betting with his chess-playing boyfriend, Andrew, going up against a seemingly unstoppable Russian chess master (possibly grandmaster). Andrew is an absolute jerk and Maggie is way too good for him. The chess and gambling in the story was intriguing nonetheless. “Is it Included” is a weird story (and we know that's saying a lot considering the other stories we've described), but it's also quite funny in its absurdity. Basically, the protagonist, a new real-estate agent, is trying to sell a building that's said to be haunted. While bringing an elderly lady on a tour, everything that can go wrong does go wrong. The keys don't work. A thief may be responsible for the the changed locks. Furthermore, a homeless squatter with a Mohawk is found bathing naked in one of the rooms. Ironically, the elderly woman finds all of this charming and amusing rather than upsetting and off-putting (like most normal people would). It's kinda implied (though not explicitly stated) that she's sexually attracted to the naked squatter with the Mohawk or at least thinks he'd make good company (sorta like a pet). Now, we can finally talk about our favorite story in the entire book: “Day in XXL Size!” “Day in XXL Size” is a book about disordered eating, dieting, and a possible eating/body-image disorder, so a trigger warning might be warranted. However, the way that this story and its main character are portrayed is so delicate and balanced. On one hand, it's very transparent and expressive. We know what the character is thinking almost all of the time. We know all of her irrational thoughts and the bargaining/internal fighting she does with herself. It's sad and tragic, and yet... it's so over-the-top, out of touch with reality, ridiculous, and absurd that it's actually hilarious, comedic, and charming. Some of the thought-process that this character goes through is something from the Twilight Zone, yet its so eerily familiar. It resonated so much with us. There are even instances in which the protagonist displaces her insecurities and problems on others like when she finds a family member's cigarettes and pledges to screw with them to get them to quit, all while clearly having an addiction of her own. The irony! The hypocrisy! There are other things that the character does that are hilarious. For example, she refuses to stand in the same line as a cashier who saw her buy healthy foods the other day (planning to buy junk food for her next binge). Ok, we've been there and done that. Of course, this plan goes to %*#$ as the self checkout doesn't work. She is forced to confront the cashier she was avoiding anyway. She also says things like: “Who survived on lettuce? Dinosaurs certainly did not. And she has no intention of sharing their fate.” “There were 400 left and a total of 1900 calories were burnt. That is, a normal dose of calories for a hard-working woman. She had a sitting job. But it was hard work. Very hard.” All of this is a frail attempt to rationalize with herself to give in to her temptations. Again, it's familiar, and we're strangely empathetic to her situation. We all have unhealthy habits that we should probably break. Maybe it's eating the wrong foods, maybe it's eating too much, maybe it's smoking or drinking, maybe it's stimulants, maybe it's drugs, maybe it's gambling. We all have that devil on our shoulder tempting us. So, it's hard not to feel for this character. This story skirts a fine line between insensitivity, comedy, and a genuine psychological exploration of the mind of an addict. It's funny, familiar, AND fascinating! Check it out on Amazon!
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