Review of "Scissor-Tail" by Ethan Richards and Alec Byrne

Score: 91+/100 (9.1+ out of 10)

Scissor-Tail by Ethan Richards and Alec Byrne is an Oklahoma-rooted vigilante thriller that reads like a true crime dossier, blending investigative journalism, cartel crime, and superhero myth. It's ultimately a rather comical set-up, tailor-made for fans of cheesy, hokey characters and stories like those you might find in a cartoon, a monster movie, or an 80s action film.

This book is largely for fun and entertainment, not quite reaching the tension or character depth of Beast of Eufaula Lake or Maryland Sasquatch Massacre (also by Ethan Richards).

It's a bit like a superhero vigilante flick like Batman or Kickass.

Only, in Batman, Barbara Gordon (a character we cared about) was shot and paralyzed; in addition, Rachel Dawes (another character we cared about) got blown up and killed. In Kickass, Big Daddy (a character we cared about, played by Nicholas Cage) gets burned alive to send a warning to other vigilantes.

There's nothing nearly as gritty, hard-hitting, or impactful in this book. Yes, even considering the early deaths and over-the-top stakes later on. For example, Jesse's death could've been more impactful if it didn't happen so early on that there was no opportunity to get emotionally invested in him. The blimp thing could've been suspenseful if it hadn't been right after the tank thing, and if witnesses/survivors weren't making hilarious statements about it like "the carriage-looking thing underneath" or whenever the jetpacks of Scissor-Tail are described.

There's just so much... cheese...

There's a scene that we couldn't shake in which one of the baddies tells Scissor-Tail, "We know your code... you don't kill" (like Scissor-Tail is Batman or something) only for Scissor-Tail to boot him off of a roof. It's so... cheesy.

There's another moment when the La Mosca goons keep shouting "Mi madre!" when they're being dealt with.

The name "Pump-Jack" just rubs us the wrong way. It sounds like an innuendo you'd hear on the Howard Stern show. Yes, we know that Pump Jacks are actual tools, but... it still sounds funny for a menacing, mysterious character.

And about that tank thing... how the heck is this tank so fast and so maneuverable? It sounds more like the authors were trying to recreate the Shagohod chase sequence from Metal Gear Solid 3 than actually present realistic, gritty tank mechanics. 

Now, there was one joke that landed for us, and it's when they're discussing the "Hooker Horny Toads" school name and mascot.

Yes, there are stakes (like trying to prevent a chemical attack from the a blimp on Oklahoma City, Norman, and Stillwater) and there is some attempt at character depth/development (like Myra grappling with Jesse’s death and her own responsibility as a reporter), but the tone is much closer to a Saturday matinee creature-feature or corny 80s action film than to a grounded prestige drama.

A LOT of people die at one point in this book. And, while it definitely got our attentions, it didn't hit like it should've, largely because it's sandwiched between so many cheesy, unserious scenes and jokes.

It was really hard to take the events of this book seriously. And, perhaps, the point of this book isn't to be taken seriously. Instead, the point of this book is to be action-packed, fun, and entertainment. Not everything needs to be Citizen Kane.

This book is tailor-made to put butts in seats and popcorn in faces.

Scissor-Tail follows Myra Morgans, a relentless investigative journalist who is hot on the trail of a masked vigilante who keeps turning up wherever the worst people in Oklahoma get what is coming to them. After her friend and colleague Jesse is killed while digging into a mysterious eco terrorist called Pump Jack, Myra inherits his notes and tumbles into a rabbit hole of La Mosca cartel goons, shady land deals, and whispered stories about a leather coated figure who drops out of the sky and dismantles bad guys like a horror movie monster crossed with a pro wrestler.

Along the way, she butts heads and trades banter with Axel Arcand, her rich boy publisher who may or may not know more about Scissor-Tail than he lets on. The story bounces from Roman Nose to Watonga to the cartel infested Everstone Hollow bar, through abandoned missile silos and bunkers, and finally to the Bedlam football game with a blimp full of chemicals overhead. There are tasers, gas grenades, high flying jet suits, and interrogation scenes that feel like they were storyboarded for a comic book or a streaming series pilot.

If you go in expecting subtlety or deep psychological realism, you will probably roll your eyes. If you go in wanting a pulpy, over the top, very Oklahoma =flavored romp about a bird themed vigilante kicking cartel teeth in while a snarky reporter scribbles it all down, this delivers exactly that.

There is a lot of substance here to work with. You could even argue it's a bit too much. Like, if you were going to have Pump-Jack be the featured mystery in this book, then why have Scissor-Tail too? Why add La Mosca into it? It just seems like a lot of otherwise-good ideas that got thrown into a blender. What this does is stretch the audience's attention thin. It's TMSGO (too much sh&^ going on).

It's like why Godzilla: King of the Monsters and Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice were so much worse received than their predecessors. You don't need so much cool stuff stacked on top of other cool stuff, especially if it distracts from the central cool stuff. This book seems to lack a lot of the focus that the author's better works like Beast of Eufaula Lake or Maryland Sasquatch Massacre had. It wants us to buy into this big, sprawling eco-terror conspiracy involving the cartel and two mysterious figures rather than just focusing on any one thing.

The result is that almost everything feels diluted and stretched thin.

Now, we will say that one of the setup for the climax of this book really got our attention. No, not the blimp thing, but the fact that it took place during the final meeting between Oklahoma State & Oklahoma in Bedlam. It's quite humorous to hear the narrative criticize Oklahoma for leaving the Big 12 for the SEC, foregoing the continuation of the state rivalry, calling it a "betrayal." That was pretty funny.

And this book is pretty funny and entertaining.

Ethan Richards says that he writes "to provide a welcome escape, helping you navigate the
chaos of everyday life." And that he does.

Lastly, the character of Myra does deserve some credit. While she's a bit generic and not our cup of tea, what she did in this book is still admirable and respectable. She put her life, safety, and reputation on the line in order to get the truth, the whole truth. It made us think about what Richard Lui talked about in his memoir on being a journalist in dangerous situations.

Check it out on Amazon!