Review of "The Original Human Beings" by Dr. Timothy D. White

Paperback Score: 93/100 (9.3 out of 10)
Audiobook Score: 94+/100 (9.4+ out of 10)

They labeled her "Basura" (Spanish for "Trash") but she would scratch and claw her way past that label, becoming a renown musician, track athlete, and a beacon of hope for all children suffering in extreme poverty around the world.

She gave herself a new name: Never, because she would never go back to that hellish state of being treated as less-than-human again.
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The Original Human Beings by Dr. Timothy D. White is an ambitious, human, emotionally-charged, dream-like, and—at-times—humorous book/audiobook. It appears to be a fictional memoir inspired by real life stories of immigrants and native peoples blended with the author's own surreal dreams and research/anecdotes on near-death experiences. Indeed, there are a lot of aspects and moments in this book that seem surreal or even absurd to a comedic or comical degree. We'll get to that later.

This book follows Never Morales Santos, who was labeled "Basura" at a young age as she lived in "Garbage Mountain" in the middle of the infamous Tegucigalpa City Dump in Honduras, a 50-acre, gang-controlled area which is scavenged by hundreds of people, including children, daily. Never is a target for predators and coyotes involved in human trafficking. She is a gifted musician, specifically a celloist, and brings both the rich and poor to their feet in applause with her playing of Ava Maria. We follow Never as she meets all sorts of colorful and interesting characters like Looking Glass, Ephraim, Joey, Jackson and Gomez, encounters the titular tribe of the Original Humans (Nimiipuu / Nez Perce), faces off against a bear who acts like a beast straight out of mythology (i.e. a dragon), and attempts to make a living in America, being a musician and a track star (at a time when female athletes and minorities were held back). All of this is in a quest for humanity, rising above being labeled as trash, on the path to a Carnegie Hall performance in front of the Beatles and her childhood hero. Seriously!

Oh, and by the way, some of the world's most dangerous gangsters and an evil general named Mendoza are after her.

This sorta reminded us of those abstract yet visually captivating, often-beautiful, and sometimes disturbing Chicano wall arts you'd find in places like San Diego or Miami—you know the kind of art in which a bunch of people dressed like Mayans or Aztecs are just crawling on top of each other using a totem pole as a ladder, all while a bird and a snake look on with coffins and graves lying there, a Latina woman is holding a baby for some reason, and Jesus is also standing in the corner for some reason? That kind of art? That's what this book feels like.

This book kinda reflects that dream-like randomness and surrealism that you think could only spring from either hallucinogens or a very vivid imagination, for better or for worse.

This book is a very mixed bag, sorta like how we feel about Danny and the Whale by Wayne Mahon, another fictional memoir with interesting characters and humor but that just seemed to drag on and meander in a way that felt fragmented and fractured like shattered glass.

On one hand, The Original Human Beings is clearly written by a very imaginative, passionate, and brilliant man in Dr. Timothy D. White, a man with a bunch of degrees, a doctorate education, and 40+ years as a lead pastor in Redmond, Washington. So, he's incredibly educated, experienced, and passionate. That shows.

It's also beautifully and passionately narrated by Mexican actress and director Yareli Arizmendi, who clearly put a lot into this—a lot of heart, soul, and moxy. She brings this tremor in her voice and accents which match key sequences.

On the other hand, it seems needlessly dense and, as we alluded to before, meandering and unfocused. You'd think this book would be focused on Never's career as a musician as she climbs her way out of poverty, and it kinda is, yet Never is hardly the focus of what is arguably the book's centerpiece: the battle with the bear, which focuses a lot more on the bear itself and all the other characters trying to overcome/survive it. In fact, we hardly remember what Never did through the whole bear battle. We remember what everyone else did.

The main villains, El Cadejo, Mendoza, La Cosa Nostra, etc., practically vanish from the whole middle portion of the book. They're there in the beginning, then are back in the end, but seem to be quietly swept under the rug anyway, overshadowed by Never's Carnegie Hall performance. You could argue that their influence is felt throughout the book, and you'd be right, but it's easy to forget that since it doesn't seem like the events of this book flow naturally. Instead, they seem to skip around, becoming disjointed. Thing A happens, then Thing D happens, then Thing B happens. It's never A, B, C, D. It often seems like parts of this book were written at entirely different times by different people. Look at the example of Loco Lucy. She's there in the beginning, then shows up in the last quarter. And, yeah, it's nice to have some continuity, but... something just feels wrong.

Even Looking Glass, who is arguably the deuteragonist of the novel and main love interest, gets snuck back into the last third of the novel as a track star and marginalized football player, held back because of being a person of color (Native American). Like, he starts winning a bunch of races, having all this success. Never should recognize him, he has his dog (Yaka) who survived all this crap with her and helped them battle the bear, but it's almost like she's meeting a new character entirely. He even has to remind her, "Do you remember me?" Weird!

And the whole tone of this book changes at that point. It goes from being this paranormal action-adventure novel to being more like a teenage sitcom.

There are times in this book that seem like a romance, particularly about 3/5ths in with the Looking Glass stuff. But then it starts focusing on the racing like it's a sports novel all of a sudden.

There are times in this book that seem like action-adventure, particularly in the middle chapters as the characters try to survive the wilderness around the Wallowa Mountains / Wallowa Lake. There are other times in this book that seem like it's going for some kind of paranormal/supernatural angle with the resurrection/false death and allusion to Hades/Sheol/the afterlife.

In fact, this book is somehow listed as magical realism. Gee wiz, pick a lane.


There are other times this becomes like a crime drama, then seems to forget that. Then it becomes like a coming-of-age story, which does—admittedly—carry through 'til the end.

It almost seems like this book is schizophrenic and doesn't know what it wants to be or what personality it's adopting today.

With all that said, let's finally get into the specifics.

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WARNING: Potential Spoilers Ahead
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Ok, so one thing we have to get out of the way is how this book is both intentionally and unintentionally funny. It's kinda a comedy, while still tackling a lot of serious issues like the exploitation of children and the poor, extreme poverty, immigration, racism, prejudice, sexism, and more. Again, it's actually a bit like Danny and the Whale in that sense. It can still be self-aware and funny while approaching serious topics.

The author is not shy about this book having comedic elements. In fact, he seems to have been inspired by Don Quixote and Candide. We can see the similarities. Never gets a cute donkey she names Heehaw, who carries her precious cello on their journey, for example. There's also a lot of absurdity and goofiness.

Where do we even begin?

How about the early moment when General Mendoza taunts the supposedly-dead 79-year-old Never/Basura. You can tell that—in Mendoza's mind—the things he's saying are supposed to sound threatening, insulting, despicable, and evil, but they sound so... stupid. He says things like, "They call you Basura because I manipulated them!" and "Your daughter is the vilest creature ever born from trash" then starts gagging and spitting like some weird drug addict who forgot his Narcan. He even claims to have some exotic condition called hyperosmia which supposedly gives him a heightened sense of smell so he can detect people who smell like putrid trash. That is the most BS, bogus manufactured load of crap. Mendoza isn't being menacing, he's doing the equivalent of making a Yo Mama joke without knowing how to make a Yo Mama joke.

Oh, and Never isn't actually dead. She resurrects! Or something. Some parlor trick or magic or... something to fool Mendoza. This is so weird!

Ok, let's skip ahead to the centerpiece of the novel: the battle with the bear.

This battle is supposed to be epic, it's supposed to be tense, it's supposed to be suspenseful, but it's so... funny and weird!

First of all, this bear battle is frickin' LOOOOOONG! We're talking Goku .vs. Frieza on Planet Namek long!

And it's actually pretty ridiculous. Yes, we know that bears sometimes hunt humans if they're extremely hungry. We know this is supposed to be symbolic because it's supposed to match the Nimiipuu creation myth about humans being freed from a monster by coyote, the ancestor to the Nimiipuu (or something like that)--so it's fitting that the Nimiipuu are helping the migrants to survive an actual physical monstrous beast in the form of the bear. We also know you can't outrun a bear if it's chasing you at full speed, but... is it though?

The human characters waste SO MUCH time during this battle. They even have time to philosophize, crack jokes, and READ A BOOK! What the... F....

Ok, that's some Don Quixote for you.

But let's break it down. So, instead of just hiding or sneaking away from the bear:

1. Gomez has time to break down his entire tragic life story of being a murderer involved in torture and genocide, having broken all ten commandments. He gives this epic speech before his last stand. Oh, and by the way, Gomez is 7 feet tall and covered in the most disturbing tattoos imaginable including 666 and Swastikas, yet still manages to supposedly become a police chief, then an assistant pastor (who swears during sermons), so there's that. That's a whole lot of absurdity. Oh, and doesn't he date some woman who thinks she's a witch-vampire? There's that.

Gomez gives this speech about being a Gypsy and Norse, saying he's descended from Vikings and describing the history of the Berserkers and their last stands.

The problem with this is, the brothers decide to fight alongside him, which is kinda weird cause the whole point of Gomez trying to sacrifice himself was to serve as the rear-guard so everyone could escape and survive. So now two of the people he was trying to save are gonna make accomplishing that harder? Ok...

2. The sheriff and deputy supposedly come to the rescue with with horses and guns, yet are completely ineffectual to a comedic degree. They essentially get taken out by their own frightened horses like they're Wile-E-Coyote and Elmer Fudd. Their bullets just bounce off the bear, which makes sense (kinda), but doesn't really make much sense from the perspective that the other characters use rocks and arrows, which seem to impact the bear more than guns do.

3. The characters have time to joke about immigration, comparing the bear to a disgruntled immigrant!


4. They have time to stop and cook/eat fish, which implies they also had time to stop and catch fish

5. Ephraim has time to read a book, as we mentioned, which they use to fuel the fire to cook the fish

6. They have time to philosophize about how freedom fighters throughout history are who we owe democracy to

7. They have time to pray

8. They have time to joke about arming the bear with a rifle, which would be unnecessary given that it's a 10+ foot tall killing machine impervious to bullets (apparently)

9. They have time to come up with this elaborate scheme involving getting to a high place and unlodging boulders

They do ALL OF THIS while they could just be walking away in any direction other than toward the bear. The bear isn't even jogging! It'll occasionally stroll up and start roaring, but that's only after the characters are complaining, joking, debating, giving speeches, philosophizing, and goofing around for like ten hours.

This whole problem could've just been solved if they would've just left the area. But instead it's like they want to confront this bear—and darn the consequences.

Their poor dog, Yaka, is fighting this thing with every bit of his being. The poor sheriff and deputy are probably dead. All because of these idiots who won't just leave well enough alone.

It's admittedly cool to see all of them work together to take on the bear, using rocks, swears, arrows, and everything they can. It's supposed to be a testament to how humans learned to work together to overcome nature. Ok, we get that.

Anyway, this book really becomes a different book when the characters make it to America and we flash forward.

Never recounts encountering racist, prejudice people in school who called her "Coppertone." She talks about the deportations due to Operation Wetback. She talks about how Scandinavians would often hire migrant agriculture workers. She talks about the JFK Assassinations. Then we get into the final chapters of this book, which are a bit more like a teen drama.

Ok, can we just say this? We hated Never through most of these final chapters. Why? Well, she leads Looking Glass on while breaking his heart by dating Miguel instead, then cheats on Miguel, then cheats on the guy with whom she cheating on Miguel with (her "secret boyfriend"). WHAT... THE... F...

Oh, and speaking of cheating. She 1000% cheated to win that race against Looking Glass by preying on his emotions. That's not some noble, glass-ceiling-breaking- triumph. That's some BS. Absolute BS. That, more than anything, made us sick of Never.

We get that she's this flawed character with a tragic backstory, but to see her cheat and keep cheating and leading people like Looking Glass and Miguel on? That just sickened us. It made her seem trashy. This whole journey to make herself transcend trash, yet she acts like trash to people who love and care about her? Like, we're not saying she's Cersei Lannister. She didn't kill anyone, but... she's still frustrating.

Our notes after Never wins her race are:

"Never is a b**tch
Hurts Looking Glass
Falls for Miguel
Has a 'Secret Boyfriend'
F**ck her!"

Well, at least that got a rise out of us.

Maria Jose dies. There's this whole concern with the criminal underworld crawling back into Never's life. She think she's gonna be abducted. By the way, the PA announcer brings up that Never's sister was kidnapped by the people who trafficked them... ok... that happened... at some point?

This book is so weird.
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SPOILERS END
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This book is really ambitious and unorthodox. If you like surrealist, absurdist stories that follow female protagonists as they climb to a higher place in their lives, this might be for you.

Check it out on Amazon!