Review of "Worldwide Crush" by Kristin Nilsen

Audiobook Score: 96/100 (9.6 out of 10)
Paperback Score: 95+/100 (9.5+ out of 10)
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Worldwide Crush by Kristin Nilsen is one of the most charming, relatable, and fun novels and audiobooks we've had the pleasure of experiencing this year!

Do you remember your first celebrity crush?
Do you remember the euphoria, enchantment, and hysteria surrounding them?
What about the powerful, mysterious, unexplainable feelings you felt for them?
How did it impact your home, school, and social life?

This book follows a middle-schooler named Millicent Jackson (commonly just called "Millie") as she wrestles with her obsession over a pop star named Rory Calhoun, the performer of a chart-topping song called "Worldwide Crush"--thus giving the book its name.

With a sharp wit and a heart full of daydreams, Millie navigates the rollercoaster of seventh grade—complete with awkward lunchroom moments, quirky family dynamics, and the thrill of chasing her idol. Nilsen masterfully captures the intensity of a tween’s celebrity obsession, blending humor, nostalgia, and the poignant journey of self-discovery. Millie’s story is a love letter to every kid who’s ever plastered their walls with posters or scribbled a star’s name in a notebook, making Worldwide Crush a must-read for anyone who’s felt the magic of a first crush.

There are so many things about this book that resonated with us. No, it's not just the whole celebrity crush thing, which is a compelling enough premise in and of itself. This is a book about so much more than that. It's a book about coming of age. It's a book about finding reasons to wake up every morning. And, perhaps most importantly, it's a book about FAMILY.

Millie's family is perhaps the most entertaining and charming group of people we've read about in a book in a very long time!

Like, they're up there with the likes of the farm animals from The Great Animal Escape by Linda Harkey. They're so cute, funny, and charismatic. Each of them has a degree of depth and relatability, which is also a plus.

So, where do we even begin?

Well, the character who really made us laugh a lot was Cheryl, Millie's grandma who refuses to be called "Grandma" or "Grandmother" in some misguided, superstitious belief that it will age her (particularly her cherished hair/perms). Speaking of her cherished hair, Cheryl’s quirky habit of wearing a Target bag as a “turban” to prevent frizz had us in stitches.

There's one particular scene involving Cheryl, still wearing the Target bag turban on her head, waving to Millie while she's leaving on the school bus. So much for Millie keeping up appearances for the early days of school!

And, yes, this grandma loves her Mountain Dew!

Oh, yeah, she also calls Google "the Google" (saying things like "ask the Google"), Facebook "the Facebook," and Flutter "the Flooter." Gosh, she's so funny. She's like Betty White mixed with Cloris Leachman—just an epically comedic grandmother figure who does and says things grandmas aren't supposed to.

Speaking of saying stuff grandmas aren't supposed to... it's strongly implied that Cheryl is responsible for all the foul language that Billy is learning and that it's not, in fact, coming from school or TV.

On that note, Millie also has a super cute and endearing little brother named Billy, who immediately stole our hearts when we first heard him in the audiobook (portrayed by the author), calling pitifully and shyly to Millie for attention. Despite seeming small and timid, Billy is actually trying to be a hockey player. Billy’s wide-eyed innocence and sad baby deer expressions when he’s upset add a layer of charm that balances Millie’s tween angst, making their sibling moments some of the book’s sweetest. His kindergarten journey, complete with a giant backpack and a Darth Vader mask he almost wears to school. In a lot of ways, Billy is growing too, and his character mirrors Millie’s own navigation of seventh grade, tying their stories together in a heartwarming way.

Something we noticed about their relationship is how Billy will often call to and snap Millie out of her being distracted by thoughts of Rory Calhoun, reminding her that there's someone who thinks the world of her and looks up to her, all while she's idealizing and looking up to Rory.

Next, there’s Pringles, the family’s overweight bulldog, who adds another layer of charm to this already vibrant household. Pringles’ heft makes her a comedic challenge to walk, especially when Cheryl’s dragging her along in that iconic Target bag turban scene. Pringles isn’t just a pet; she’s a symbol of the family’s endearing chaos, waddling through their lives as Millie navigates her Rory Calhoun obsession. Oh, and she also gives Millie another thing to bond with Rory over since Rory also owns a bulldog.

Pringles also helps give us one of the funniest and most endearing asides in the audiobook when Millie just nonchalantly mentions:

"I tiptoe back into my room and climb into bed with my clothes on. Then I get up again and scoop Pringles up off my rug, which is not easy because she is so fat..."

The comedic timing and subdued way in which this line is performed in the audiobook is perfect. You can practically feel the character rolling her eyes and going out of her way to tend to her overweight pup. You'll really need to listen to the audiobook to hear what we mean.

It's funny how we don't have as much to say about Millie's dad, who is probably the most normal person in the family. With that said, he does love AC/DC and apparently makes a habit of blasting it. The way that Millie describes it is hilarious: "that band from the eighties that is beloved by middle-aged white guys everywhere, including my dad."

With all that said, the relationship that really forms the heart and soul of this book actually involves Millie and her mom. We could argue that it's even more important than Millie's relationship with Rory (the celebrity).

Millie's mom really is the perfect mom. She's loving, supportive, encouraging, sensitive, and incredibly funny (ok, maybe not as funny as the grandma, but still funny).

Similar to Millie's relationship with her little brother, Billy, Millie's relationship with her mom seems to exemplify one of the book's core messages: look at all the love that's right in front of you.

Very often throughout the book, Millie will often say or think that Rory is "the only person I ever truly loved." However, it quickly becomes clear to the reader that this isn't entirely accurate. Rory isn't the only person she's ever truly loved. Far from it. She clearly loves her little brother, Cheryl (grandma), dad, and mom.

Let's go back to talking about Millie's mom for a bit...

There are a few scenes with her that really stood out to us. Perhaps the one that stood out to us the most is when Millie's mom goes with her to some sort of church retreat/interventionist program and Millie's mom actually helps her to skip the dodgeball activity, knowing that it's not something either of them are interested in. Millie's mom acts like a kid sometimes (very relatable from Millie's perspective), and this scene exemplifies that. Another scene that stood out to us is when Millie is trying to get her mom not to smother her so much with love and attention, especially in public. This is something that kids commonly go through as they mature and grow up—the desire to, well... be seen as mature and grown up. Ultimately, they want to be seen as independent from their parents.

Millie's mom is sensitive and understanding enough to know this, so she tries to comply in the most endearing and humorous way, saying, "Well . . . then . . . Godspeed, girl. Be on your way--
independently. Have a very plain day. I have neutral feelings for you."

How sweet and funny is that?

Similarly, when Millie expresses not wanting to be smothered with affection in front of people (back at the retreat), Millie's mom sweetly says, "Don't worry... I won’t hug you in front
of all these people. But I want to!"

There are several other noteworthy characters in this book including Shauna, Millie's best friend, who gets introduced to the reader in the most humorous way. People are constantly mistaking her as Chinese despite her being Filipino. Millie then goes on one of her many stream-of-conscience tangents saying: "She’s the only Filipino kid in our school, and she always gets lumped together with the Korean kids and the Vietnamese kids and that one Chinese kid. And apparently Japanese kids too, even though we don’t have any."

This isn't racist at all, it's just Millie being a young person who hasn't quite developed a more tactful way of grouping people together in her mind. She's still innocent and naive, which is one of the most charming aspects of her character and this book.

Shauna also proves to be a fantastic friend, constantly supporting Millie and serving as a voice of reason a lot of the time.

And, lastly, there's the celebrity in the book: Rory Calhoun.

This book truly accomplishes something with Rory that we appreciated—making him seem so distant yet so close and relatable all at once.

To Millie, Rory is the perfect boyfriend and future husband, because... of course he is.
She falls in love with him from a distance and pretty much stalks his accounts online to learn more about him and keep up with what he's doing. She often justifies this by thinking things like, "I just want to love him" and that her attention to him is a form of love.

While this might seem creepy to some, don't be too quick to judge her. Don't you look up actors and actresses on IMDB or Wikipedia after they catch your attention in a movie or TV show? Don't you want to know who they are, who they're dating/married to, and/or what other movies or TV shows they're in?

It's really not that foreign or alien.

That's not to say you should stalk people and become obsessed with them.

In fact, one of the key messages of this book is how fandom can blind us to the flaws of the celebrities we idolize and idealize. The fact of the matter is that they're still human. They have flaws. They have weaknesses. And, yes, some of them smell and have acme like the rest of us humans do.

You know what they say: never meet you heroes. Well, one thing we really loved and appreciated is how this book didn't try to villainize Rory and try to make him seem terrible or reprehensible.

Rory is, in fact, portrayed as a good, relatively-normal, and caring person. He loves him mom and his dog just like Millie does. Those are actually some of the things they have in common. He also has little character perks that make him stand out like his love for aquamarine despite it not being the gemstone of his birth month. He has an explanation for why that is very touching and understandable.

We're so glad that Rory didn't undergo a character assassination in this book since we were really expecting it.

Lastly, the best thing about the book is the writing and how it really captures that teenage curiosity, naivete, and innocence/ignorance. It's a really unique voice, and one that's perfectly portrayed and performed by the author in the audiobook. Gosh, we fell in love with the coyness and cheekiness of the writing in this book and how it's read in the audiobook. Bravo to the author/narrator. Seriously! Good job!

The asides and side-tangents are especially funny. We already mentioned how funny it was to read Millie bring up how fat Pringles is or how Shauna's race keeps getting mistaken. It's so entertaining to read Millie's thoughts and thought-process. For example:

"The first time I saw him was a concert in Paris. Or maybe it was Venice? Or Rome or something? Whatever, I’m not sure... Oh yeah, ti amo is Italian for 'I love you,' so it must have been Venice. Or Rome. Anyway . . . "

The book also does a good job at helping both Millie and the reader to understand the exciting and—at times—troubling experience of fandom. We're all fans of something or someone. The key is to not have it negatively derail or distract. Believe it or not, there are positive things about being a fan. We can be inspired, encouraged, or even distracted from the darker/difficult things in our lives.

Check it out on Amazon!