Review of “Are You Ready?” by Dr. Kimberly Harms

Score: 96/100 (9.6 out of 10)

We're all going to die.
It's a harsh truth. It's a harsh reality.
However, it's the truth.
Death is as inevitable as rain and taxes. Everyone gets to die, at least once.
​
Despite that fact, death is also not something that most of us concern ourselves with on a daily basis. Most of us live like we'll always be alive, like we're always going to wake up the next day and that the sun will always rise to greet us.

Now, there's a certain positivity and an optimism to that, but there's also a blindness it creates, either willingly or unwillingly. It creates a sense of entitlement that can eventually lead to discontentedness and carelessness.

When we go through life thinking that we'll always have our lives and everything in them, it's a lot easier to take those things for granted. We forget that all of that can be taken away at the drop of a hat. We neglect to plan for the worst (or plan at all). It's like going into a huge business decision without doing a SWAT analysis. It's like making a huge purchase without insurance. It's like going into a big battle without a battle plan.

Are You Ready? by Dr. Kimberly Harms is a book that concerns the reality that we will die someday and that what we leave behind for our family, friends, loved ones, and the rest of the world all matters—our legacy (or legacies).

Have you walked past or through a cemetery lately? It's sobering to think that every single one of those graves represents someone who lived a life and died. Every single one of those headstones represents someone who left things and people behind when they died. And some of the most important things the dead leave behind are their legacies.

What is a legacy? Well, after reading this book, we might describe a legacy as being an impact that you had or something that you are know for or made a difference in. Gandhi's legacy, for example, is the sovereignty of India from a colonial power. Lincoln's legacy includes the freeing of the slaves and the saving of the Union. Steve Jobs's legacy includes the existence of Apple and advancements in computers, software, and other technologies. Jesus' legacy includes the founding of the world's largest organized religion and, from a spiritual sense, the freeing of humanity from the chains of sin.

Not all legacies are good or beneficial like those of murderers and genocidal tyrants.

Just think: what kind of legacy are you leaving behind to humanity and to future generations?

Harms herself was born into extreme disadvantage with a mother who struggled with severe mental illness, being institutionalized and taking her own life when Harms was just 17. She was also born with several disabilities including only having seven fingers and having severe spinal abnormalities, all of this due to her mother taking a medication (thalidomide) that was later found to cause birth defects.

One of the best quotes from this section of the book is “Mental illness does not disqualify you from being a good parent. Lack of love does. Love is the greatest legacy. The love you leave lives on in those left behind.” This speaks volumes given the shear amount of trauma and mental illness literature we read every year.

We don't choose how we come into this life and into the world, but we do have some say and control in how we leave it. Do we want to leave it a better place or a worse place?

Life is a gift that should be valued and treasured, not take for granted. It's a privilege and a blessing. Setbacks, disappointments, and challenges are also opportunities, it's how we respond to them that matters. One of the best quotes in the book, in fact, states that “When you break a leg, be glad you didn't break both legs.”

This book discusses multiple inspirational stories of people who overcame adversity, hardships, and extreme suffering to make their lives count in big ways. This includes Harms herself (who eventually became a dentist), a Holocaust survivor, and a survivor of the Rwandan genocide. Harms discusses the incredible, exceptional, amazing, and inspiring people that she has either met in person and/or read and researched about.

Those parts of the book were some of the best parts! We couldn't help but be enthralled and captivated, particularly when reading about Ron Hauptman's family (Etta, Ignatz, and their daughter, Carol) who suffered through the Holocaust. Etta's story is arguably the highlight of the book, although there are a few contenders.

According to Harms: “Etta Hauptman and her family show the rest of us that recovery is possible, forgiveness is possible, love is possible, and even joy is possible, no matter what catastrophic losses you may have suffered.”

There's also the example of Rosemond “Rosie” Sarpong Owens, a Ghanian woman who became an exceptional talented comedian with her keen sense of humor. Rosie calls herself a “CEO” which, in this case, stands for “chief encouragement officer.” Rosie is an example of taking life in stride, not taking yourself too seriously, being willing to laugh at yourself, and being positive and uplifting. Lastly, she's a champion example of leaving people better than you found them. What a motto to live by!

A third story is of Pastor Maurice, a survivor of the Rwandan genocide of the Tutsis by the Hutus which led to upwards of a million deaths—exceptional in their savagery, severity, and brutality. Pastor Maurice and Senior Pastor Sam's stories about Rwanda tell us that divisions between people are the result of ignorance and darkness. The United States is not immune to this happening to us. In fact, it is happening as the culture war continues to grow into a monster splitting the country in two the way Rwanda was.

Rwanda is an example of a country that emerged from the darkness and recovered quickly. Part of that, according to the narrative, is forgiveness and reconciliation. It sounds simple, but forgiveness and reconciliation are some of the most difficult things to act out. Look at the continuing conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians that has raged for decades. Look at the growing rift between the left and right in US politics.

Another person we have to give props to (in this book) is the author's son, Eric Harms. The story of Eric is one of the most beautiful and touching parts of the book.. Part of that is because, despite the tragic end to his life, his legacy and memory is compelling and powerful. He was both a passionate and great athlete and actor: a star football player and an excellent stage performer. He had to choose between his football career and theater. He ultimately chose theater. One of the best things about all of this is the way that people like Wendy and Elliott left behind a legacy that helped Eric to live out his dreams. The author honors Eric and continues his legacy through Eric Harms Memorial Libraries and her work with Tom Warth's Books for Africa, providing textbooks for children and students who would otherwise not have access to them. What a legacy to leave behind! What a legacy to carry on!

It goes with what the book says about when Tony Dungy (the NFL coach) lost his son. Tony Dungy, a man of faith, knew that God had a plan and this was part of it.

Take the example of Ione Roland in the book who found something broken and could use her talents to fix it. Specifically, she fixed a broken statue of Jesus. It is said “That was Ione. She could fix just about anything with clay!”

You never know how God will use you, even in unfortunate and difficult times.

There's a section about David Horsager, the author of The Trust Edge. We get the great passage about trust:

“...he breaks trust down into eight pillars: clarity, compassion, character, competency, commitment, connections, contribution, and consistency.”

Another point in this book is that we should always be seeking to grow and improve. We should also not be tied down to or held back by our past, like Kimberly Harms didn't let her disabilities hold her back from becoming a dentist. There's an analogy by a person named Kathy Dempsey, author of Shed or You're Dead, that says: “if a lizard does not shed its skin, it dies.” We think that probably also goes for lobsters and several other animals.

So, why are humans immune from shedding?

In the closing chapters of the book, the author again confronts the inevitability of death and how you should approach and prepare for it for your sake and those of your loved ones (who will carry on after you).

There are a list of considerations including planning what will happen to your remains. There are actually some humorous and interesting ones including shooting yourself into space or making diamonds out of your ashes. This section also talks about getting your affairs in order while you can. Also, you should consider what you want on your headstone and what your obituary picture will be.

One of the last sections talks about writing a legacy letter, outlining your closing thoughts and wishes. It is said that St. Valentine wrote a legacy letter to his love, Julia, before he was executed.

These are a few things you should do and/or think about instead of “cramming at the 11th hour.”

Well, this was a banger of a book with a lot to say!

Check it out on Amazon!