Review of “Escaping My Demons” by Joseph Fagarazzi

Score: 95+/100 (9.5+ out of 10)

Escaping My Demons is a hard-hitting, riveting, emotional memoir by Joseph Fagarazzi! The book focuses on the turbulent and tense relationships between Joseph and his parents, particularly his selfish, abusive, and exploitative father. While books exploring domestic & childhood abuse are surprisingly (and unfortunately) common, this book is mesmerizing in its down-to-earth, level tone and scope.

Rather than lingering in the trauma and accepting victimhood, Fagarazzi is a man wanting to move past this trauma, seeking to gain a long-awaited and hard-earned “happiness and inner-peace” in purging it from his being.

We couldn't help but stand up and cheer for Joseph! And we couldn't help but grit our teeth, clench our fists, and even boo at Joseph's father (and occasionally mother and sister).

Believe it or not, this book does not read like a series of complaints, nor does it come from a place of hatred and resentment. If anything, this book seems to come from a place of love—albeit a love taken advantage of and exploited.

They say that your first love will always be your parents and that blood is thicker than water. Well, as we learned in Run Away Home by Catherine Manett, “family” doesn't always mean blood-related. This book is an example of how one's family can be so corrupt, wicked, and dysfunctional that it can actually be better to leave.

So often in this book, we founded ourselves wanting to shout at the pages, telling Joseph not to listen/believe his father and go back to him. Yet, he kept going back. Why? Because he's a good guy, a good son, and a good brother.

This book unravels the cobwebs—the Gordian knot—of manipulative tactics that a person like Joseph's father will use, the least of which are the many lies he concocted.

What's extra frightening about Joseph father is how real and alive he seems. It's like if a horror villain stepped out of the page and into your home! What helps that phenomenon to happen is how Joseph's father isn't actually pure-evil, like some cartoon villain. He's not the monster under your bed, he's the man next door. He's someone so familiar and even relatable that it's extra scary!

For example, father isn't a no-name from nowhere just trying to cause wanton mayhem, havoc, and destruction. He's actually a product of his time: the traumatic blemish on human history known as World War II. Father was a European/Italian man in the middle of a land that was tearing itself apart. Death awaited around every corner. No one could calmly run a business or go to school knowing that there might be an air-raid, mortars, or ground troops coming at any moment. You get the sense of how insecure and savage father became due to this environment and situation he grew up in. One thing that constantly stands out is how money-grubby he is. He constantly screws Joseph over for money. Perhaps the worst example of this is when he holds an event for Joseph and his new wife, Pam, only to surprise them with the bill. Another incident is when he sells Joseph's car to start his restaurant, which turns out to be a fish & chips business. For much of his life, it seems, Joseph was a gondolier, yes, those guys who paddle the little gondolas and sing songs. It is ironic since it seems like this would be a job for a very positive and patient person, and father turns out to be anything but positive and patient. He burns bridges with the other gondoliers who speak about him in hushed tones.

Another thing that stands out about father's character is how lecherous and adulterous he is—constantly finding ways to cheat on mother.

And, of course, he is physically abusive, not just to Joseph but to his mom. At one point, he even hits mom with a deep-fryer that could've left her permanently scalded. What's interesting is that mother is a bit of a firecracker herself. Despite being a victim herself, she can also be the victimizer. At one point, upon finding out about father's infidelity, she even chases him and tries to stab him with a kitchen knife like some horror villain. Yes, this is the kinda family that Joseph grew up with! It's a miracle he grew up to become a successful businessman and author!

Going back to father and mother, they undergo their own stories and arcs, some of which deal with dwindling health (including a brain tumor) and the birth of their second child, a prized daughter whom they proceed to treat like a prized pet. There are times when it seems like the characters are close to reconciliation, and the atmosphere is tense. Some of us readers wanted them to make up. Most of us wanted them to never see each other again.

Despite this being a book about family drama, it is never boring or stagnant. The characters travel from Italy to England and even Australia! The action is always moving and progressing.

There are a lot of ups and even more downs. However, one of the bright spots of this book is how Joseph was able to develop into a very good marketer and businessman, so much so that his former employers at Bali Shoes would take notes while he was selling. Another bright spot is Joseph's relationship with Pam, which is beautiful and shows that even those who've been through traumas can come out the other side with love. We kept thinking about Pam throughout the second half of this book, wondering what she might be thinking or what she might be up to. We're told that Pam loved Joseph's parents, even when they were being horrible. We aren't quite sure how to feel about that. If the parents were still around, we might actually be concerned.

This book was incredibly engaging and interesting, dare we say entertaining throughout. It was almost like watching a soap opera, only the realness added to the tension.

Check it out on Amazon!