Review of “The Last Crystal”

Score: 88/100 (8.8 out of 10)

This is a solid book for children and even young adults. It's absent of swearing, sex, and vulgarity. There are some brief mentions of violence occurring elsewhere in the world (since this takes place during World War II), but it's nothing to fret about as it's never too heavy for young readers to handle. The language and writing are simple enough for them to follow. It's likely they could get through this in 2-3 days and find joy in it.

The story follows siblings Grace, Mary Carol, JD, and Robert in the 1940s following their father being wounded during the war. They are sent off alone on a historically-significant train called the Santa Fe Chief to stay with their Uncle James in California. They then get entangled in the villainous Celeste's wicked plot to retain her youth through the obtainment of the eponymous last magical crystal. A time-travel and survival segment of this book really shines as the sibling pull together with every ounce of their youthful strength, acquired wisdom, and dogged determination in order to survive their arduous ordeal in their quest to stop Celeste.

Exciting premise, huh? You'd even be tempted to compare the dynamics of this book to something like The Goonies, Boxcar Children, or even the Chronicles of Narnia.

It's a tame, harmless, and safe book with good grammar and likable enough protagonists. There are even some nice, cute drawings and animal characters who appear throughout.

We have to be honest though, the first 150 pages (15+ chapters) can be incredibly boring for an experienced reader. Unless you already fell in love with the band of protagonists in the previous books, you're hit with them and saddled with them for the ride, and it's a pretty long ride. Little seems to be accomplished half the time. Shenanigans and time-capsuling would be the best ways to describe most of this book. Literally the first 150 or so pages consists of the four kids talking about the 1940s and experiencing the Santa Fe Chief ride. It's interesting if you care about that stuff, but most kids (and readers) are just not going to be interested in people talking about the news and the weather. They want to see or read about stuff going down. There is a point when there are bumps along the train ride including an uncomfortable stint in the desert, but that's all it really is: an uncomfortable stint for the characters. There are no real stakes in the moment as there's no way the author is killing off characters via heatstroke or dehydration in this children's book. And to punch that point home either further, despite all their whining and complaining about the heat in that segment, the characters then have the convenience of getting ice cream. Yes, these conveniences do disappear later in the book, but that just goes to show how monotonous the first half of this book is.

Probably the most interesting thing that happened in the first half of this book is the introduction of the main villain, Celeste. She is a menacing enough, albeit a bit cliché with her posh accent and good looks hiding an ugly disposition. She acts a bit like Jadis the White Witch in the Chronicles of Narnia. However, her character is a bit ruined by her exposition-laden dialogue, particularly with her mentor and secondary villain Sandastros. There's no mystery at that point, we know who these villains are, we know what they want, and we know what they're going to do to get what they want because they outright told the audience. It just feels like such a missed opportunity to build up suspense in a meaningful way. It's also very unnatural. It reminded us of when Han and Leia reunite in Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens and feel the need to tell the audience everything the two characters should already know about what happened and each other. They even feel the need to tell each other that their son has been corrupted by a dark lord even though it's one of the most important events in their lives and they should know this. It's just contrived and unnatural even when the actors and the characters are great. Bad dialogue is bad dialogue unfortunately. It's quite literally the infamous “as you know” trope. A character unloads their exposition to a character who should already know this information.

Now, this book does eventually get good about 20 or so chapters in when the characters are actually forced into a survival situation thousands of years before the present date. It becomes a rather fun camping adventure with the kids having to rely on their wits to find food and water as well as stay safe from the elements. It helps that at least one of the characters is a scout, able to provide information on how to start a fire and catch fish. One of the characters comes armed with a sewing kit that comes in handy. Everyone seems to have a little moment to shine.

Now, it's very clear that the character the author wants us to love is Grace. She is practically shoved down our throats as the cutest, sweetest, most well-meaning little girl imaginable. She is really the only protagonist with any sense of a hero-villain dynamic (with Celeste), everyone else is along for the ride. Still, she can be incredibly annoying. Yes, she resists temptation and does the right thing. Yes, she plays the role of the “truest believer” and optimist in believing that her dog is still alive. Yes, she's probably as cute and cuddly as Laura from Little House. But that only makes her slightly less annoying. It's hard to describe why, but probably the best explanation is that she's a lot like the annoying little kid (or the creepy little girl) in every haunting movie who feels the need to write notes to or call the neighborhood demon/ghost that everyone else is rightfully trying to get the heck away from.

It's also mostly because of Grace that we have to hear about her dead/lost/stolen dog, Old Shep, over and over and over and over and over and over and over again—89 doggone times in this 400-something page book.It was cute the first half-dozen times, but after six dozen times, it got jading. Old Shep. Old Shep. Old Shep. Did you see Old Shep? Look, I see Old Shep! It reminds me of Old Shep. Old Shep is alive. Old Shep is gone. Old Shep is here. Old Shep isn't here. Old Shep found us. Old shep didn't find us! Old Shep is outrunning our train somehow. Old Shep couldn't outrun this train. Old Shep. Old Shep. Old Shep. Old Shep. Try reading that name aloud to a kid with a grandparent present without getting severely admonished. (“Say whaaaaat?!”) Listen, you little Old Shep, we know your name is Old Shep because you're a border collie and we FREAKING LOVE border collies, but was there any way to make your presence in this story actually compelling rather than incredibly annoying?

And, yes, we know there are two Old Sheps and two Graces, and two of them are supposedly dead. That's explained in the most chaotic and confusing way possible, up there with, “I am your father's brother's nephew's former roommate.” Seriously, the other Grace couldn't have just been this Grace's mom or grandma, she had to be Grace's mother's brother's “sister—the one from the family before he was adopted.” Her... whaaaaaaat?! Why? How? What the heck even... never mind.

This book, despite its incredibly slow start and other annoyances, is still passable and interesting. The survival segments with the siblings are top notch. Mary Carol gives us a little scare that's somewhat tense. Robert is realistic and pessimistic as heck, and that's a breath of fresh air when his sister is constantly inviting trouble with her head in the clouds. There's even one of the best quotes in any novel we've read so far: “Daddy said that war is wrong, but sometimes it is the only way to stop something even worse than war.”

Check out “The Last Crystal” on Amazon!