Review of “Three Dimensions: Lizzie's Histories” by Elizabeth Reinach

Score: 75/100 (7.5 out of 10)

You know what? Fine. This is fine. This book actually has a few amusing and humorous moments as it pokes fun at different points in history. The first story pokes fun at the circumstances leading up to the all-important Battle of Hastings in 1066 AD as Edward the Confessor dies childless and without naming a clear successor. This led to the conflict between two men with equal claims to the throne: William the Conqueror of Normandy and Anglo-Saxon Harold Godwinson. English broadcaster Jeremy Kyle, the protagonist of this first set of stories, gets to interview each of these major players, pointing out their absurdities and ridiculousness. Later in this set of stories, Jeremy Kyle also visits Henry the VIII and his daughters, Elizabeth and Mary.

The author finally answered our question as to whether or not she can go 10 pages without a character using a racially insensitive term, attacking religion, or whipping out their phallus in public. But barely—by the smallest of margins.

We still have a pretty grotesque moment in a story in the book—don't read the rest of this paragraph if you're eating or prone to vomiting. This author just can't help herself. She just can't resist. We have to have a whole story in this book about a man's flaccid penis and his wife's smelly vagina. We're not even kidding, that's the focus of the story. It's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

Is it as disgusting as throwing around the “N” word for chuckles or talking about pedophilia or incest between a grandma and grandson as in the author's other books? No. But it's disgusting none the less. The book could've scored even higher if, once again, the author could just get out of her own way. Get rid of nonsense like that, it's unnecessary and it's hurting her ability to tell good stories. If it wasn't for nonsense like that, “Heirs of Deceits” could've been a great story.

The art continues to be cute and humorous, and this book has some of the best in this author's books, likely due to the opportunity to portray period outfits in a cartoonish way. Also, the author's intellect and knowledge of history are well on display here.

Oh, before we forget, one of the other problems with these books is how the author just refuses to indent. She won't indent new paragraphs or dialogue. It's slightly bothersome. Yes, you could argue that it's because these stories were intended to be stage plays or that it's a stylistic choice, but combined with the other problems in the author's writing, it's the straw that broke the camel's back.

Well, we've done it. We've finally, mercifully gotten through these four books. We're just shell-shocked. These four books—Lizzies Frizzies, Lizzies Scaries, Lizzies Histories, and Heirs of Deceits—make up about 700 pages of traumatizing content. To be fair, each of these has at least some redeeming qualities. The art is always cute and humorous. Many of the characters in Heirs of Deceits were at least interesting. So, the author has the tools and the talent, she just needs to apply them effectively and without making her audience rage quit.

Learn about this book here.