Review of “You Will Never Be Normal” by Catherine Klatzker

Score: 93+ out of 10 (9.3+ out of 10)

You Will Never Be Normal is an excellent, spellbinding memoir by Catherine Klatzker focused on psychology, mental illness, and childhood trauma.

It is a captivating glimpse into the mind and life of one who suffers from dissociative identity disorder, something that can stem from intense trauma and can manifest itself in the form of multiple personalities similar to schizophrenia.

It's frightening, fascinating, and tragic.

One of the tragedies and saddest things about this book is that the disorder seems to stem from Catherine's sexual abuse at the hands of her own father, who would frequently surprise or ambush her with sexual encounters and activity—what's often referred to as his “bad daddy” side, something completely opposite and different from his “good daddy” side. What's especially sad about this, from our point of view as reviewers of many books of this nature, is that this real-life story is cliché at this point—we've read about fathers (and male family members) sexually exploiting and abusing their children in numerous books including When to Run, Born Scared by Stephanie King and Fictionally Nonfiction by Wynn Thanh Phi. It never ceases to be uncomfortable and sad. It hurts even more when it's a loved one who has permanently scarred their children for life by robbing them or taking advantage of their innocence.

Throughout the course of the book, Catherine develops and reveals multiple different identities/personalities who literally come to the forefront (of her mind, self, and being), speaking for her and even acting for her.

Perhaps the strongest and most frightening of her personalities is “Cat.” Cat seems to be the alpha and the leader of the personalities, a powerful, domineering personality who is ultra-protective, possessive, and controlling. As a means of trying to regain control (that was perceived to have been lost due to the abuse), Cat pushes Catherine to cutting and self-harm. Cat isn't “evil” per se (although she is arguably the main villain of this story next to Catherine's dad), but she is rather dark and malicious. Cat is often said to “hate.”

Cat is also the main personality that is against Catherine continuing her treatment with Dr. Lew, expressing concern that Dr. Lew is a threat to the existence of Cat and the other identities. Despite all this, Cat is also the strongest, bravest, boldest, and most courageous of the personalities. Sounding almost like a fearless, adolescent tomboy, she helps Catherine to stand firm against real and perceived threats and to be on guard at all times.

Catherine also has some weaker, softer, and more vulnerable personalities. For example, there's Baby—her youngest and most vulnerable self, needing protection from the other personalities. There's Tina, her “teen” identity, the self-criticizing part of her that also tends to be among the most apprehensive and “hopeless.” Tina will often try to keep Catherine quiet and from sharing too much information that could leave her open, vulnerable, or defenseless.

Cathie may be one of Catherine's most negative personalities—the depressed, down, and dire one. Cathie sees the worst in almost every situation, dreading what may come.

All of these personalities are constantly vying for control of Catherine's mind and body, which prompts Catherine to ask the book's key question: “Whose body is this?”

Throughout the book, it seems that these identities are treated like “parts” of a whole (Catherine herself) and that all of them have some sort of place in her overall identity and existence (her “self”). Ultimately, all of them must confront and come to terms with the trauma that has befallen them.

Another thing that's fascinating about this book is how dream-like, bizarre, atmospheric, and surreal it can be. You never quite know what is real and what is not. Truth is subjective based on the perception of the narrator. There's an especially haunting scene in which the narrator describes attempting to place a prosthetic eye into someone's socket (as part of a basic medical procedure), but the trauma they experience and the struggle they have reminds her of her abuse and brings out her worst, most aggressive impulses. Amazingly, many of the narrator's family members either flip-flop on or completely deny the events described, which adds even more to the mystery and intrigue.

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